Exactly. It has been a while since I wrote here. Not that nothing has been happening for me, is just that there had been too much things happening around me that I’m weary about writing here.

However, I just wish to share some personal takes, lessons learnt and views here in this blog. I would say that most human beings love praises than criticisms. How many people out there can accept criticisms gracefully, I think there are a few. When you hear things that are against you or not to your liking, you might tend to raise an eyebrow rather than step back, withdraw yourself from your own centre of attraction and ponder about the remarks made on you. Are they true? Do they reflect what you really are or are they just hurtful remarks make to makes you feel sad?

Everyone has their down moments. when you are down, do you wish to hear things that are soothing to your ears or do you wish to hear frank statements about what is causing you to be down and more often, these frank statements are hurtful to the ears. They are sometimes harsh facts that you have been denying or do not questions yourself hard enough to face the reality and that’s why you felt down.

I’ve heard and spoke a lot to different people lately. Listening to problems and sharing problems. I’m not a stubborn person. I do not have strong opinions about general things. I seldom make comments on the spot upon hearing a situation because I often need time to ponder over it and more importantly, I do not wish pass an unfair judgement to things that I hear from a single side.

There are also times that I would have very strong opinions over things and people, However, it would only last a moment for me. As long as I’ve reconciled with myself over many rounds of self questionings, I will choose the method to relief myself. I learn to detach from sadness,detach from situations, detach from my perspectives that I built on people and situations. Is only with a reset self, I can then choose to speak with the person that is causing the unhappiness in me or face the situation bravely. I believed that the best method in self reconciliation is to have an open heart to talk and listen and have the courage to face harsh situations. I need to hold an empty cup in my heart so that I can listen to people and at the same time, observed the available resolutions to problems I faced. A full or overflowing cup will just cloud and blur my visions and hearing to truthful confessions, earnest teachings and lessons taught from people and as well as solutions to problems.

How many people can detach themselves from being self engross in situations and agonies? How many people when faced with situations to their disadvantage could still see things and path clearly for themselves and for others. How many people could flip to the other side of the coin and get to learn that there is another side to view and see situations and about a person?

At this age, there are many lessons taught and learnt. I’m still learning. Learning to be humble, because a humble self will then be able to realise that there are still tonnes of things out there you do not know. Learning how to empathize with others rather than self empathize. It is only when you learn to think from another person point of view that you truly know how to shower care and concern. Self empathize will only make you weak and unable to face reality and neglect people’s care and concern on you. Learning to be contended and yet realise about what is lacking. This is a balancing act.

So my love ones out there who is reading this and have comments and views, please comment. either here or ask me out for coffee.

自己已经有好一阵子没接触华文了。没什么机会用它来书写或阅读。刚过去的礼拜一，我去了理发店。这回我很坚持要走一趟理发店来整理一下我那扎乱的头发。理发店离我马来西亚的办公室没多远。下班时间一到，我便请我同事把我载到购物中心去。一到那，我便开始找理发店。

一楼有Dunkin Dounuts…我已经养成了一经过Dunkin便找Old Fashioned 的习惯。哈哈，当然没找着。购物中心没什么人，这让我的心情也放松了些许。一直到了三楼，我才碰到唯一的一件理发店 – Jantzen。看了看价钱，RM36来个Cut&Wash好像很划算。。于是我便走了进去。帮我理发的很像是店面的扎Fit人。有人拿杂志给我。有人帮我倒茶。。。哈哈。。过程还蛮享受的。理发师建议来个染发。价钱听起来合理，我也就OK了。在理发店呆了90分钟，看了两本中文流行杂志，喝了两杯茶、剪了个自己满意的头发。。之后搭了的士到Custom，返回新加坡。回到家也不过刚过了930pm。

其实外表多少会影响心情。也许头发真的是烦恼丝。剪完之后，心情也莫名的轻松了些。工作在这礼拜又突然涌进来。很多planning以及deadline要看着。下个礼拜又要去泰国。希望客户们大发慈悲，紧密配合，在我临走前把要给我的资料都准备好。算一算，这个月至少有4个project要完成…

礼拜三去了唱歌。发现自己拿着遥控器多数都在帮其他人点歌。真的很旧没接触中文流行歌曲了。不知道在IN些什么歌手和歌曲。已经少了以前的那股唱得尽兴的感觉了。有时候，觉得自己在退化。我以为自己喜欢的，倒头来。。。其实也还好。曾经很喜欢设计网页。可能工作的关系，常常看，有时候想自己来稿一下什么设计和编写之类的东西是，发现已经没有那个Skill了。平时的我要设计有Designer，要程序有Programer。。渐渐的，自己不再做这些Groundwork的工作了。

我生活的圈子围绕的人和事已缩小了许多。有时候看到身边某些朋友能够肆无忌惮的谈话，自己好像搭不上半句。久而久之，自己也感觉与他们疏远了默契。真希望我骨子里的活跃细胞能够再生，再度带给自己及身边的人多些欢笑。其实对自己好是很重要的。。。哈哈。。。这是我好朋友说的。

其实还蛮期待2010年的到来。新年新希望嘛。很想真的写了蛮多的。。好了，就这样。。其实我还得看些工作上的email。。不写了…BYE!

2009 has seemed to have just slipped thru my calendar without giving me a chance to live it at a slower pace. Being 30 is also a time that I solidify my beliefs and principles and stood firmer with it. I am less tolerant to certain acts that I used to tolerate. I used to surpress a lot of feelings and just let things happened the way I don’t want it to be. Perhaps I’ve had enough of myself in doing so.

Do I have higher expectations on people and even myself? I guess I do. Some said I eliminate people that cross the path in my life and thus I will become more lonely as time goes by. Some said I am just being selective about people I want to spend quality time with for the bulk of my life. Is it wrong to set expectations on people? I guess this is just human nature. I always believe that life is about managing expectations.

I had some upset feelings lately over some friendship issue. Only my closet friends knew about it. To date, sometimes I do question myself if timeline were to reverse, would I have treaded the same path.

Work wise, being 3 years in the same company does make myself reflect on a lot of things. once again, I witness the growth of a potential company and yet because of its growth, I felt the environment become less friendly. I’m still learning. Learning to put less emotion to things and situations as this greatly affects my ability to judge at times. The weariness does sets in at times and makes me feel disheartened. Had a talk lately with a close client-cum-friend, someone I knew in previous company. She was my attachment student then but after which, she strike out on her own and sets up 2 companies. The 1st one didn’t fail but partnership didn’t work out. Thus, she packed her bag and sets up another, taking along with her connections she built previously. I admire her. Gonna get real busy again with new complex projects coming in. i welcome them.

Well, is August soon. one of my favourite month of the year. seems quite happening…country birthday with of course public holiday. used to be gaga over 8 Aug as it is Faye Wong’s Birthday…then comes beibei’s birthday. seems like a non-stop celebrating month full of events.

ok, a boring post but yea…that’s all the thoughts within me lately.